Conscious Conception: The Ultimate Invitation

by Sahaja Douglas, M.A., L.M.F.T.

Often, when people ask me how I became an advocate for conscious conception, I paraphrase Plato and say, “Necessity, is the mother of invention.”  Twelve years ago, when my husband and I decided to invite a child into our family, I enthusiastically sought information about the most conscious way to prepare for conception and pregnancy.  There was not much information in print, but I came across Jeannine Parvati-Baker’s Book, Conscious Conception, and Laura Huxley’s magnificent book, The Child of Your Dreams.  I was practicing Hatha yoga during this time and meditating, and so with a mixture of eagerness, love and some anxiety about getting it all just right, my husband and I began “trying.”  My intentions were noble, yet in hindsight I understand that my focus was too much on finding the exact astrological moment and not enough on the love between my husband and myself. Nonetheless, my deep yearning to nurture a child resounded in the Universe and our son Liam rushed in.

Over the years, my understanding about the importance of preparing for conception evolved.  Before inviting another child to join our family, I asked my spiritual teacher for guidance and I read about Tibetan and Hindu preparation rituals. Couples from other cultures prepare themselves physically and spiritually for many months in anticipation of inviting a child into their family, because they understand that this time of purification and fortification will attract a soul of higher consciousness and allow for an auspicious pregnancy and birth. 

According to the Tibetan Art of Parenting, “The environment at conception is important; it is recommended that a couple meditate on love, compassion, consciousness, or gentleness and avoid anger, attachment, jealousy, aggression or fantasies.”

I applied what I learned to my own preparation.  My husband was more skeptical about the importance of preparation, however, he took a leap of faith and stopped drinking alcohol and coffee for several months before conceiving our second son, Viśwa. 

As our children grew, my husband and I often discussed the possibility of inviting another child into our family.  For years, as our conversations and contemplation of what was best for our family continued, I became passionate about preparing myself for conception. I practiced specific yoga poses and sequences for optimal health and fertility, I ate foods that would nourish me, I retested for toxins and worked with both my homeopath and my nutritionist with preconception in mind. I spent more time doing spiritual practices.  While we ultimately decided that the time was not right for inviting in another child, my own personal journey was the springboard for the Conscious Conception Workshops and my work with clients in private practice.

When someone is interested in learning more about conscious conception, typically, I will get a call (usually from a woman) seeking advice.  The preparation for conception lays the foundation for a healthy, vibrant pregnancy and many of the things I recommend for conception are continued throughout pregnancy.  During an initial meeting with new clients, I gather information about the couple’s lifestyle, spiritual practices, goals, work, relationship, vision for their family.  Usually, I recommend that both partners prepare themselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually for four to six months before even making love with the intention of inviting in a child.  I suggest that both parents have a physical exam by a health care practitioner. Their blood should be tested for heavy metals and other toxins that may hinder fertility and the optimal health of their baby. If heavy metals and toxins are present (as they are for most people due to chemicals in food, water, air and especially the chemically fertilized soil in which most food is grown) there are many reputable detoxification programs.  A local naturopath, homeopath, acupuncturist, or other health practitioner can guide this process, and make sure that the released toxins have been eliminated from the body before a couple tries to become pregnant. 

I recommend using this time before conception to purify the body by eliminating alcohol, coffee, processed foods, and any prescription drugs that are not mandatory (it’s important to consult with the prescribing doctor first).  If a couple wants to become more physically fit, I recommend starting this process before conception. 

The preconception months are an important time to make certain that there are no toxins in the home environment (see www.healthychild.org for great information). I recommend eating organic food, grass fed meats, and drinking purified water. If the couple eats fish, I recommend small varieties, (i.e salmon, sardines, halibut) wild caught, (farm raised fish often carry parasites that kill many wild populations, wreaking havoc with salmon spawning and other aspects of natural reproduction for fish) and sourced from cold, clean waters, like Alaska. 

The preconception period can be an emotional time for couples, eliciting feelings of intimacy, as well as feelings of anxiety about their ability to nurture and raise a child.  It is usually a time of redefining roles in the family, and it is important for the couple to acknowledge and discuss their hopes and vision for how their roles may change. Will one parent stop working? If not, who will they choose to love and nurture their infant while they are at work?  If they plan in advance, would it be possible for one or both parents to take a leave of absence from work? When couples come to see me, often I help them unveil, process and communicate their feelings and concerns.  Sometimes, they realize that more time is needed to realize their vision of how they ideally want to care for their child. During workshops, I facilitate particular exercises that encourage couples to express their hopes and fears surrounding conception, pregnancy and parenting. 

The time leading up to conception is ideal for deepening spiritual practices. I highly recommend meditation for most couples.  With proper guidance from an experienced teacher or spiritual master, meditation purifies the mind and aligns one with the rhythm of the Universe.  During conception and pregnancy, an atmosphere filled with love and harmony is ideal.  Like attracts like; thus, a couple’s pure heart vibration will attract a soul with a pure heart vibration.  For many couples, I recommend writing as an excellent way to discover and express their feelings, dreams and intentions.  During workshops, one of the first things I ask couples to do is set an intention for inviting a child into their family.  The intention is a higher-consciousness thought, created with clarity, purpose and faith that the Universe can provide what we need despite our inability to understand how manifestation truly occurs.  An intention I share with the Conscious Conception Workshop group (and now with any reader who wants to invite a magnificent soul into their family) is: 

             “May each person here invite in and receive the child of your dreams. May this exploration today bring clarity and an expression of divine love. May parenting awaken and deepen your compassionate heart and inspire spiritual uplifting.” 

A clearly worded intention, created from the heart, with the highest good for all as it’s premise, will call forth enormous support from the Universe; a cascade of God’s Grace. 

Yoga, tai-chi, qi-gong or other holistic practice is also a great way to prepare for conception.  As the ancient sages have pronounced for eons, and science has validated, our thoughts create reverberations throughout our bodies, so any practices we do that quell the mind and encourage good thoughts, will positively effect our bodies, and spirit and create a wonderful environment for conception and pregnancy.  

After months of preparation, the time for uniting and inviting in the couple’s dream child arrives.  Many cultures have rituals for conception: a blessing from the couple’s spiritual leader, family or community, a purification bath, an astrological reading that determines an auspicious time for conception, prayers, mantras, mandalas and dances. Depending on a couple’s spiritual tradition, they may want to create their own ritual.  Sometimes couples write an invitation to the child, and recite it as part of their ritual, sometimes their ritual is as simple as lighting candles and acknowledging their love for each other.  However a couple expresses their loving union, the months of preparation leading up to conception has paved the way for an auspicious manifestation of their dream. 

Sahaja Douglass can be reached by e-mail at sahaja@consciousconceptionandpregnancy.com, or by phone: (310) 455-0713.  For more information about conscious conception, visit Sahaja’s website: www.consciousconceptionandpregnancy.com.